She needed me to take her to the hospital for an X-ray. Our conversation was continually derailed by the television hanging over the counter. Simply put, Karl makes rain. - which, you know, I could not possibly choose. She had wanted to study painting in college but it all came too easilythe color, the form, the techniqueshe didnt have to work for any of it. I cant tell you how appreciative I am. People were out with their dogs. I'll see if I can get her into a trial here in Nashville. She has children. Subscribers can find additional help here. I didnt need to hear about the first opinion to know what that meant. She wrote her thesis on bats and rabies. They knocked one another down like dominoes. We went back and forth. We left early, taking into account the traffic that turned out to be eerily absent. All the neighborhood dogs began to howl and bark. He was not one to miss a workout and neither was I. Id practiced kundalini devotedly for years and then drifted, picking up other things, and while Id stuck with the short class, I had amassed no end of DVDs. That had been one of her greatest fears about coming to stay with us in the first place, that she would be unable to take care of herself, that she would be a burden, that she would embarrass herself. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. Precision seemed like a good decision here. is the author, most recently, of The Dutch House. We both agreed that if this was the brink of extinction, it was nice to be together. Forgot your password? Look at this.. The essays, even when they are nominally about something else, are about the weight and grief of relationships: with her father and two stepfathers, her best friend, her husband and, improbably, actor Tom Hanks' assistant, a woman named Sooki with whom Patchett develops a deep bond. But once we had finished that first short practice, she turned to me, blooming. I now knew that shed had a Whipple at Duke and twelve rounds of FOLFIRINOX followed by twenty-eight days of radiation over five and a half weeks at UCLA. I had interviews scheduled all day on Tuesday, Sooki had chemo on Wednesday, and my friends were leaving for California on Thursday. She said she didnt know what she was going to do. She moved to Nashville, Tennessee when she was six, where she continues to live. Hows the painting coming? I would ask. It took a while to get the mushrooms. Sister Nena stopped for a minute to lock Sooki in her heart. She was disappointed. And then one night, for reasons I cannot imagine, we decided to do it all again before we went to sleep. Heres a universal truth: people are interested in helping Tom Hanks. In time, all I would have to say was, Its Friday. 2,560 Followers, 85 Following, 25 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist) She was checking email or trying to make notes. The power was out for four days, those rarest of days in Nashville when it was neither too hot nor too cold. These precious days Ill spend with you, I sang in my head. She was an artist. And which, despite several cringe-worthy passages, it is a moving and memorable account of a brief but incandescent friendship. How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. KELLY: Speaking of friendships that we make in college, early in life when we - it feels like we have all this time to just live in the present, tell me about another essay - "The First Thanksgiving." Just remember, Wednesday chemo left you very sad on Friday and Saturday, so it stands to reason that Thursday chemo will break your heart on Saturday and Sunday. I think well be back tomorrow. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. Because then, it won't just be me; it will be the entire world of people in my head. Sooki was desperate to be helpful. Go together. Curiosity is the rock upon which fiction is built.". "Primarily and in her soul she was an artist." KELLY: And the timing of this - she comes to live with you while she's doing the treatment, and this turns out to be the beginning of the pandemic. a link to a 20,000-word story in Harpers, New book relives chaotic 2020 news cycle in a good way, A Black descendent of Thomas Jefferson brings her ancestors out of the shadows, Amazon releases its best books of 2021 list: 'An embarrassment of riches', Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. . We were loaded with plans in those days. She started a kids clothing business. Now I look like an improvised elementary school art project, and in addition to owning my permanent tattoos, I have to nurture my three little stickers and hand-drawn sharpie marks so they last six weeks. It occurs to me that I should put that playlist on again and listen as Im writing this, but I will not. We wrote about painting because she painted. She was to stay in the trial, three Wednesdays on, one Wednesday off, until the regime was no longer effective or, to put it another way, until she died. Pay attention, I told myself. The phone sat beside her on the table quietlythe prodigal returnedwhile we asked the kind of questions people ask on first dates: Do you have siblings? When I asked her how she was feeling, she might admit to being a little tired or having a bit of a stomachache, nothing more than that. He read several articles while I waited. You had it here all this time? The coat wasnt the way I had remembered it. What Sooki gave me was a sense of order, a sense of God, the God of Sister Nena, the God of my childhood, a belief that I had gone into my study one night and picked up the right book from the hundred books that were there because I was meant to. It turned out that Tom and Rita came to town something less than regularly but more than I would have thought. They had recovered. So what are the deadlines, days needed, etc? After dinner that night, Sooki and I sat on the couch and tried to watch a movie, but her phone on its leash began to ding and ding and ding, insisting on her attention. The wind was coming down the street like a train. It was a shaggy dog of a story by a woman passionate about dogs, touching on a variety of subjects, including her friendship with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael; Raphael's treatment. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. These Precious Days is still on view at the gallery until May 10. You might not see how everything threads together as you read along, but when you look back from the end of the story, the map becomes clear. I think about all the people who would want her to live with them. It has been an exercise in creative storytelling to try to think up more and more reasons why the number might rise while the scans (CTs! Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. In bed the night before, I asked Karl, How do you think this is going?, He put down his crossword puzzle. Finally she went downstairs. Suffice to say the car I was strapped into followed a tunnel down into dark and darker colors, narrower spaces. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. Karl can pull up and youll run in. My doctor paired up some words I never thought I would hear together: pancreatic cancer and youre in remission! It seems like an early declaration, but Ill take it! Then Sooki and I went to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets of mushroom powder in with yogurt, and poisoned ourselves. I can tell you where it all started because I remember the moment exactly. The Hole Story: The Piddock Clam is a Born Architect. Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. Why shouldnt Tom Hanks write short stories? How thrilled they would have been to have even a few of the hours she wasted with us. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. There was no reason for her to tell me this. Winter came without a word. But I didnt forget. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. When Ann Patchett decides to try medicinal hallucinogens to accompany her ailing friend on a spiritual journey (also to alleviate the pain caused by chemotherapy), he gives them space. I scooped up a handful for no reason and carried them with me. And so I just relied on a book to get me through. Tell us. But they had survived. It would have to be for this story to continue. It had been more than two years since I met Sooki in a theater in Washington. She was just coming out for, really, a matter of days so she could start it here and then fold into the UCLA trial. There is another guest suite on the main floor and we live on the top floor. So happy to be the connector of good things. On the few mornings she didnt come up at her usual time, I imagined her sick, needing something, not telling me because she didnt want to bother me. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? Id been in touch with Sooki once or twice when there was talk of a bookstore in Santa Monica, and now I pinned my hopes on her as she dug into Toms schedule at Playtone, his production company. It had zero spiritual component. There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. Germline mutations in ATM, BRCA1, BRCA2, CKDN2A, PALB2, PRSS1, STK11 and TP53 are associated with increased risk of pancreatic cancer. Its why I dont like to go to other peoples houses for dinner: I never want to tell people Im a vegetarian. And the only time I ever feel paranoid about death is when I'm in the middle of a novel because I don't want the novel to die. I told them that when I was a child, my sister and I would come to the Ryman on Friday and Saturday nights with the man who was then the house doctor at the Opry. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. I tried to find a place for this new fact in the equation but all I could come up with was the obviousI didnt know her. Again it would appear this story had reached its conclusion. She even worked for Wilson's husband, Tom Hanks, as his assistant. All that was left was the wall around what had been their garden. We could all be boring together.. A tremendous explosion rocked the house, something far beyond thunder. The grass was still brown and only a handful of the thousands of bulbs had opened. And when I was young, the two things that were unbelievably expensive were long-distance phone calls and plane tickets. Everyone was laughing at his jokes because his jokes were funny. If it hadnt been for the cancer, I never would have come here. Sooki let my friends with the plane know that she would be there on Thursday. My death. I wasnt sure why I was negotiating my characters future with my friend, but there I was, listening. She wasnt about to tell me she looked good, but it was clear what I was talking about. On Thursday morning I started to cry while walking Sparky. Id written a childrens book and was about to go on tour. The title essay focuses on Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, who spent the early months of quarantine in Patchett's Nashville home while receiving. Copyright 2023 SurvivorNet, Inc. All Rights Reserved. I was struck by an overwhelming sense of wanting to know her, of not wanting to miss Sooki while she was here. There is a magnificent quiet that comes from giving up the regular order of your life. I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. I was the one who talked you out of the fifty pounds of dry ice.. I wonder whether it isnt easier here because you dont have to comfort us, you dont have to make us feel better about the fact that youre sick. Karl was standing in the doorway. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), [Sooki] was so many things, Wilson wrote. Who is tom Hanks assistant? It made her crazy not to be there to help. PATCHETT: It really is. Now for no particular reason I changed my mind. Karls cousin was visiting from New Mexico, sleeping in the other guest room. Not a guru. (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. Our correspondence was less about bookstores and more about books. It was over. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. By the time we sat down it was over. But also undeniable are Patchetts generosity of spirit, compassion and gift for friendship. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hankss assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. In making the journey to Oz, she had found the strength and clarity she needed to go home again. How could anything have been saved? Three blue tattoos on the same plane as my prominent abdominal scar, it would hardly matter. She had moved in before the pandemic. Are you sick?. I have limited time as I work til mid May, then leave the US in June until I come back to start another movie in September. I thought of her time as precious now. He thanks me for it. We talked about the nightmare of health insuranceand how the percentage of treatment costs she and Ken had to pay out of pocket had wiped out their retirement, had wiped out everything. Sooki washed her sheets and towels, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed. He said that Sooki was good when they left. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. Emma and I would be speaking at a librarians convention downtown. But of course the thing to do would be to go, wouldnt it? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Five-time GRAMMY Awardwinners and living legends, the Blind Boys of Alabama both defined and innovated traditional jubilee gospel, turning their live shows into roof-raising musical Multi award-winning Canadian singer-songwriter and pianist Laila Biali masterfully mixes jazz and pop, bringing virtuosity and unpredictability to songs that are concise and catchy (Washington Smothers Theatre, Pepperdine University 24255 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA. Those she won. He knew. The waiter came out and told us to get back inside. Join The Spectator community and view or post a comment on this article. I told him. We looked downstairs and in the kitchen and the den. There had been a meeting of some sort. What will happen? I try to keep all the parts of my life separate.. We talked about what we were reading and what we wanted to accomplish that day. Will time be linear or can it stutter and skip? I was impressed that first day when the therapists swarmed the table forming the mold around me and explaining about tattoos. I am now sitting at the airport waiting to catch a plane to my next opinion, at Sloan Kettering in NY. Are you serious? They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). You will love her. Then she went downstairs and went back to sleep. There is no sense in putting that burden on yourself. Its just. The caps had to be switched out every twenty-five minutes during treatment to ensure that her head stayed more or less frozen. Asked to endorse Hankss short story collection,Uncommon Type, and then to interview him on stage during his tour, Patchett first meets Sooki in the wings of a Washington theater. I was grateful. You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. The essays range in subject, but often consider relationships in Patchett's personal and professional life, including with her father and stepfathers; her decision not to have children; the close friendship she develops in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael. My artwork is very reflective of my cancer journey, Cuozzo says. I told her as much. The trees were down but not the houses, and the trees, from what I could see, hadnt fallen on the houses. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. I would ask them at the end of the event, depending on how much time we had. I was copied on a barrage of emails I had no business reading, reports of molecular profiling, adenocarcinoma, tumor tissue for genetic analysis. Should I have woken them up and made them come down to the basement? No, its wonderful having her here.. I wrote again. Unlike so many other small businesses, we had the means to pivot. I knew there was a part of her that believed that maybe what Nashville had to offer in terms of fighting cancer was happening in our house, that she was improving because she was with us. Don't have an account? What happens if I fall down the stairs? Shes married, I said. He was to play Elviss manager, Colonel Tom Parker. Two days later, I sent an endorsement to the editor. The car I was locked into was now hurtling down through a million winking flagella, every one a different color. I told her to take her time settling in. We had just passed Stuyvesant Park when the first tower fell. Her CA 19-9 was 170, down from 2,100 when she arrived in February. The second time they came because Rita was singing at the Grand Ole Opry. At the heart of her new collection is a 66-page story about her transformational late-in-life friendship with Sooki Raphael, an artist and the longtime assistant to actor Tom Hanks. I have to know where Im going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. In her tribute to Raphael, Wilson pointed to her friend as proof that it is never too late to explore your creative passions. I find these things go better if you just wing it. Then the two of us stepped out into the blinding light. Still, she said, I cant help feeling like I should have done more with my life.. Absolutely. Wonderful Sooki! Karl looked up the name for it on his phone. Many were the mornings the yoga felt endless to me, and so I would give her a wave as I left the mat and headed off to my desk. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. I did kundalini yoga in the morning, a practice that was built around a great deal of rapid breathing, and then I went on to other things. I wanted to say hello very quietly so as not to bother her. And it's such a funny thing. When youre young youre getting high, and when youre old youre using plant medicine, like herbal insect repellent. It becomes a path into the woods. I wanted Karls comfort and was glad he wasnt there. Sooki agrees to stay for a few nights. There was work to do. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. It wasnt that I could kill someone; it was that I could kill her. Thats been everything to me, and my life. In other essays, Patchett extols the enduring influence of John Updike, Saul Bellow and Philip Roth on her own writing; meditates on her friendship with Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville whom she calls a living saint; and tries to capture the flavor of her odd-couple relationship with her second husband, Karl, immortalized in the title essay of an earlier collection, This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. As a medical doctor on staff at the Nashville hospital where Raphael was treated for advanced pancreatic cancer, he plays a crucial role in These Precious Days., Finally, theres that essay. I caught an early flight home. My official badge-carrying title at the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs was public-health sanitarian. The badge would have allowed me to inspect and close down pet stores if I wasnt too busy catching bats. Painting fell into the category of what she meant to get back to as soon as there was time, but there wasnt timethere was work, marriage, and children. The world asks us to engage, and for the most part we can, but given the choice wed rather stay home. She even dedicated the front cover of her new book to Raphaels lovely painting of her dog. I gained back twenty pounds, and have been back hiking the trails and at work full time. Seventy percent of participants rated it among the most personally meaningful and spiritually significant experiences of their lives. He rolled his eyes, but he kept reading. Donations can be made in her name to Pancan.org or Seasave.org/oceanofsooki. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet,Dr. Anirban Maitra, the co-leader of the Pancreatic Cancer Moon Shot at MD Anderson Cancer Center, explains what he typically sees when patients develop this disease. We were in this together. She told me that she had to put Sooki on a leash when she was little because she ran so much. Blind Boys of Alabama with Special Guest TBA. (He also flies a Cessna plane, which comes in handy when Sookis mother is taken into hospital in New York.) I went to the grocery store and piled up the cart. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. We would meet on the level playing field of affectionate strangers. Every childhood is strange in its own way. The thought of Tom Hanks benefiting from my assistance struck me as funny, and then I forgot about it. Of course I opted for tattoos. The producer of the audiobook sent me an article about Sooki from a 1978 issue of New York magazine. Miraculously, after a spate of vigorous exercise there would be enough white cells to slip her in just under the wire. Have a wonderful day today. It must have fallen off my shoulder when I got in the car. Sooki was a tiny thing, with thick brown hair and olive skin. We started looking up articles on the Johns Hopkins website. With our hands on our shoulders we turned left and right, left and right, endlessly. It turned out to be more or less the truth. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. Subscribe to the World edition here. The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. Thats like the building blocks of my, of my life, Farley told SurvivorNet. Im sure these words cant adequately convey what was such a radiant message, but it stayed with me so strongly as I woke up during the night, and thats the best I can describe it. The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. Raphael is Tom Hank's assistant and friend. While we pored over every detail of dinner (Sooki revealed herself to be a great cook), we didnt talk about her family. How had she known something was wrong? Sooki Raphael is an artist. Can you imagine Tom sitting at home saying, I cant believe Sooki used my connections to get into a clinical trial in Nashville?, No, of course not, Im just telling you. So every time I am writing a novel, once I get about a third of the way into it and I really know what I'm doing and I love my characters, I start to think, well, what happens if I get hit by a car? Then one day she told me she was starting to shed. 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